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Hovis
Tuesday, 27th November 2012, 13:38
Thought we should have a thread to discuss enemy tactics/slag off the other bastards. Was going to put it in outfit, but would rather it was public, just for the lulz.

BARNEY

4061

Known Aliases: Vanu Sovereignty; Fish Heads

TACTICS

To call Barney a one trick pony is a disservice both to ponies and to tricks, for Barney has at best what can be described as a 'thing that he does'. The 'thing that Barney does' in lieu of actually having tactics is that he pulls out a Scythe and makes pretend that he is a Cylon or one of the bad guys from Independence Day. This tactic is largely ineffective for anything other than gaining short term air superiority and even then little is actually done with this air superiority because Barney is in the air and the objectives are on the ground. Ironically it is only after Barney has been shot down or bottled up in a place where he cannot get airborne again that he becomes dangerous.

WEAPONRY

Barney gets his guns at Toys R Us.

COUNTER TACTICS

The correct approach when engaging Barney is to aim your weapon vertically upwards and fire as fast as you can. You are bound to hit something. Since losing the flying MAX units, the ability to tank rush across open water and the ability to lag the game to a standstill with Lashers the raison d'etre of Barney, which used to be mobility, seems to have been replaced with 'wishing he was in a plane' or, more usually, 'being in a plane'. Barney attacks can be countered largely with anti-air elements and enough armour to fend off the handful of grounded enemies that will inevitably attack while their Scythes are on cooldown.


ELMO

4062

Known Aliases: Terran Republic; TR Zerg

TACTICS

Elmo has one tactic, that is to get as many of his men together as possible, pull out whatever vehicles they can, and drive towards a target en masse. While this tactic is laughable simple it is shared by the NC so we can't really mock it properly. The Elmo favours ground vehicles over air because his arms are controlled with sticks and this makes the twitchy controls of the Mosquito difficult for him. While the Elmo will Zerg with aplomb, or plant himself in vast numbers, he doesn't do much else, nor does he need to.

WEAPONRY

Your average Elmo is armed with some generic piece of shit rifle that makes a noise like a mechanical typewriter and does about the same damage. Like the soldiers wielding them though they make up in quantity what they lack in quality per shot. Elmo will use tanks and Sunderers, usually to get to the target faster and thus enable him to swarm over it on foot.

COUNTER TACTICS

To destroy Elmo forces must strike with precision at points in the zerg where there is a vulnerability, generators, spawn points and other facilities can be hit before the swarm realises that it needs to be defending them. Although expect the enemy counter-attack to be very heavy as the simple minds all reach the same conclusion at once. Grenades and bombs work well against Elmo because it is certain that anywhere you find one Elmo, you probably find several as the same train of thought that lead one Elmo to any given position will apply equally for others in the herd.

Deathwatch
Wednesday, 28th November 2012, 15:08
Excellent post ;)

FuSs
Wednesday, 28th November 2012, 17:08
Yep i like ;)

Karathos
Wednesday, 28th November 2012, 17:27
I already know my primary foe. He's everywhere, and he's called "The average NC pilot". I swear, the amount of times I've been fucked over by some quadruple amputee who thinks he can fly a Reaver with his teeth...

All of the mad. Every single one of my mads! >:|

Butuz
Wednesday, 28th November 2012, 19:17
Yeh sorry about that dude I can barely muster the cranial capacity to wave a gun around without shooting you up - let alone fly a jet!

Butuz

Butuz
Wednesday, 28th November 2012, 19:22
Also I was looking around on all the home videos I leeched off Hovis' PC and I stumbled across these - Hovis really does hate barney and elmo doesnt he!! Fair play!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTbRsq2eB8A


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCbzeDRjaPM

Butuz

DarthS
Wednesday, 28th November 2012, 21:07
:(

Rosa
Thursday, 29th November 2012, 01:45
Haha, epic win :D

Kongstad
Thursday, 29th November 2012, 10:43
That is fucking hillarious. Lets get a NC type up aswell..

And karathos i think i spat out laughing in class reading your post. NC pilots "quadruple" amputee are my fucking worst enemy too!

Karathos
Thursday, 29th November 2012, 18:53
Yeh sorry about that dude I can barely muster the cranial capacity to wave a gun around without shooting you up - let alone fly a jet!

Butuz

Heh, wasn't actually talking about you there so don't worry. With outfit members it goes under the "shit happens" lable, but with randomers it's more along the lines of "Hulk-rage-mode".

Kong, glad I can brighten your day mate :p

Ludicrouse
Thursday, 29th November 2012, 18:55
I think calling the random plebs who fly over the Vehicle Spawn points "Quadruple Amputees" is being far to kind. :shinner:

Karathos
Thursday, 29th November 2012, 19:02
True, true. After all - being a quadruple amputee doesn't mean you've automatically got the IQ of a wet sponge. You've just had your limbs removed. Guess I should amend that to "quadruple amputees that were dropped on their heads as babies" or something.

Hovis
Thursday, 29th November 2012, 19:43
I don't want to sound harsh but people who hover over the vehicle spawner deserve to be drowned in a bucket of freezing cold piss.

DarthS
Thursday, 29th November 2012, 21:11
So where are you guys hiding on Miller? I've been keeping an eye out, just in case I get a chance to crisp some toast with my lasher....

Gunhead
Friday, 30th November 2012, 08:17
So where are you guys hiding on Miller? I've been keeping an eye out, just in case I get a chance to crisp some toast with my lasher....

Our doctrine involves actively avoiding you due to your horrible treachery mate. In lines like: "Darth spotted at the Crown, everyone redeploy to ,,,Americh,,,m8s,,!" :shinner:

Hovis
Friday, 30th November 2012, 10:41
So where are you guys hiding on Miller? I've been keeping an eye out, just in case I get a chance to crisp some toast with my lasher....

4071

Ludicrouse
Friday, 30th November 2012, 18:49
So where are you guys hiding on Miller? I've been keeping an eye out, just in case I get a chance to crisp some toast with my lasher....


Our doctrine involves actively avoiding you due to your horrible treachery mate. In lines like: "Darth spotted at the Crown, everyone redeploy to ,,,Americh,,,m8s,,!" :shinner:

I thought it was more like...


"Oh look, its Darth... in a Barney suit."
*Everyone falls over laughing*
"Guess we should go find a proper fight, huh?" :shinner:

DarthS
Tuesday, 4th December 2012, 00:38
Aww I miss you guys too! ;)

Nyana
Tuesday, 4th December 2012, 09:18
Aww I miss you guys too! ;)

Means you need to aim better :p

Ludicrouse
Tuesday, 4th December 2012, 10:07
Means you need to aim better :p

Prolly wont help if he is missing us with Guns that have no recoil!